Sunday, 18 March 2018

Dragging my heels

Thank you for all your lovely comments after Flo's post last weekend. I'm back but definitely not firing on all cylinders at the moment. Everything seems to be such a struggle right now, trying to focus on anything is very difficult, even things that I enjoy. I used to read a book a week on average but since Mr JK died, I've probably managed 2 or 3. My knitting output is shocking, I just don't seem to be able to concentrate on anything. I don't quite know what I do or how the time passes. I have good intentions but very little gets done. Someone described it as 'bereavement brain' and I don't know if that's true, but I wish it would go away and let me get on with things. Luckily my Great Yarn Giveaway continues to be a distraction and brings me comfort, knowing that some good has come out of the sadness of Mr JK's death. The total has just passed £5000 now and I'm really hoping that it might make it to £6000 by the time it closes at the end of April. The number of prizes staggers me and is still growing as people hear about the giveaway and want to donate something. And after I posted this photo on Instagram at the weekend showing the mountain of prizes that I have to package up and post out once the draw is done...

...I received a message on Instagram from someone offering to help with postage costs and this sweet message appeared along with a payment into my Paypal account. I certainly never considered the amount I'd be having to pay on postage when I started the giveaway, and it's just grown and grown!

Flo's been a bit under the weather this week. She was showing early signs of cystitis on Monday so I whisked her up to the vet who very kindly stayed open waiting for me. Two injections and two courses of medication later (and me £110 lighter!) she's doing fine, although studiously avoiding the 'palatable' medication on her food, the little madam! She's fine again now thank goodness.

In an attempt to boost my mood, I treated myself to a new mug so I can start off the day with lots of positive thinking. And a kind friend sent me this book that I've started dipping into.

After receiving a prize from Meadow Yarn, I went for a closer look at their website and fell in love with a set of mini-skeins. Anj's dyeing is really rather lovely...

The said skeins have been wound into little yarn cakes too, and of course I've faffed about with them and yet have nothing significant to show yet! 

I don't think I shared this little notions case that I made and gave away on Instagram last weekend. It was a trial run to see what people thought of them and whether they might be good enough to offer as prizes in my giveaway. I gave this one away after asking people to share my giveaway with yarn-loving friends on Instagram. I will try to sew a couple more as prizes over the Easter holidays.

We've had a little snow again over the weekend and it's been bitterly cold. Flo ventured outside to do what she had to, but was not impressed! I cannot wait for the warmer weather. At least the days are noticeably getting longer now.

My daffodil watch continues. This was a bulb that I was given as a symbol of hope after attending a service of remembrance at my local church to celebrate those who had died in the last year. The poor daffodil has been battered by the cold winds but I hope that it will continue to open this week. I'll be able to look at it smiling in at me through the kitchen window. I can't wait. xxx


Jenny said...

So sorry to hear you two are a bit down. For Flo I recommend pilchards in tomato sauce. Our vet told us this once when our cat, who lived to be 20, started with cystitis, she loved them anyway and he said the tomatoes would help. For you I recommend just being kind to yourself, what does it matter how much you read, knit, do. As long as you are not living in squalor and I know you aren't, just take it easy, you are going through a process. And finally you shouldn't have to pay the postage costs for all those prizes, surely your charity will understand that, I certainly do and I'd be happy for part of my donation to go to your costs. I know how much you want to raise but not at such expense. End of rant, have a good week, having a fondle of those lovely prizes should help, for now you can pretend they are all yours.

VeggieMummy said...

I laughed reading the above comment as pilchards in tomato sauce was all that our cat would eat when I was a child. She obviously had very good bladder health! Poor Flo; cystitis is not nice. My narcissi have drooped and recovered so many times in the past few weeks. Hopefully that's it for the snow now. Stay warm and take care of yourself and Flo. xx

Snoopydog said...

I am staggered at how amazingly well your giveaway is going. It’s brilliant! I’m very glad to hear that Flo is fighting fit again and to see that your special daffodil is about to burst forth. We must have a proper catch up very soon!xx

Cindy said...

So sorry to hear that you are having a hard time- so completely understandable though! Take care and know that I am thinking of you with kindness love.

Across the Pond said...

Grief is a drag, sometimes metaphorically, sometimes literally. As Jenny said above, it is a process, a crummy one at times. Practice self-care. Be gentle to yourself, whether succeeding, failing or surviving. The knitting and reading will return. Or not. Forcing it won't help. Above all else, stay involved with the rest of us! You are a friend, you are an inspiration, you are not alone. We take you as-is, no warranties. There is a time and a place to be alone, given, but isolation is the enemy of healing. And you will heal. Or get more creative dealing with the pain. I'm never sure which. To quote a friend, "This will pass. Maybe like a kidney stone, but it will pass."

Anonymous said...

Daffodils are starting to bloom here, too!
I am really pleased to hear that the Giveaway is going so well!!
Give a hug to Flo for me!! She is such a cute cat (my mum has Olly, that looks exactly like Flo!!)

Hope you will feel better soon. Just think all the good you are doing with the Giveaway!! Isn't that a lot, you are doing?!
I will be glad if you use part of my donation to pay for the postage, too.

Jane Winter said...

Hi Helen
I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling, but as others above have said, be gentle with yourself. The Giveaway must be taking a lot of your mental energy at the moment on top of everything else. Perhaps once that is over and the weather gets warmer you will have some more energy and enthusiasm.
Take care